Happy Holidays Everyone!
I know for many people who are contemplating divorce that the holiday season can be very trying and I imagine that if you are a therapist you are very busy helping people through this time.  In fact, statistically, most people wait until the holidays are complete before they move forward with a divorce.  Understandably so.

New Need for 2012 custody cases 
However, I expect that in January, as in all prior years, there will be a large number of people calling who want to begin the divorce process.  This year there will be a new issue facing parents that are divorcing who cannot agree on parenting time schedules and decision making processes.  In the past, they would typically hire a CFI, (Child and Family Investigator) to assess the situation and make a report to the court on what parenting plan they see is in the best interests of the children.  Given the changes to the CFI rules, this general evaluation is no longer possible.  The new rules require that CFI's do narrow, fact based investigations only, with no analysis of the parent's abilities or psychological issues.  There is also a $2,000.00 cap on CFI investigations and reports to assure that they are not broad or too in-depth.  Many CFI's have said they will no longer do this work due to the financial cap.

So, if parents need a full child custody assessment the only other court ordered option available is what is called a Parenting Responsibilities Evaluation (PRE).  This can only be done by a licensed professional therapist (CFI's can be done by attorneys or non-licensed individuals).  In the past PRE's were VERY in depth and often cost more than $10,000.00 and were most often done by PhD's when there were allegations of parental psychological or addiction issues.   This is why CFI evaluations had become the primary custody evaluation tool for middle income parents.  As you can see, this creates a major gap in what is available in court ordered child custody evaluations.

New Opportunity to fill the GAP
For 2012 we are going to need a new form of a Parental Responsibilities Evaluation.  One that can fill the gap left by the narrowing of CFI investigations.  We need a PRE that is somewhat abridged, deals with the specific issues at hand, assesses the family dynamics, includes psychological analysis as needed and one that can be done for a reasonable fee.  This would be a breakthrough for our legal system in that it assures that you are using a licensed professional therapist for evaluating parental abilities and recommending a parenting plan while also making it affordable to the average parent.

Who can fill this gap?
Here are the qualifications for a Parental Responsibilities Evaluator:

1. A licensed Mental Health Professional who is competent by training and experience in the following:
• The effects of divorce and re-marriage on children, adults and families.
• Appropriate parenting techniques
• Child and Adult Psychopathology
• Applicable clinical assessment techniques
• Legal and ethical requirements of a PRE

It seems to me that you do not need to have a PhD to fulfill on these qualifications.  Depending on your specialty, I think that a good number of licensed professional therapists can fit well into these qualifications.

I believe that it is time to create an evaluation service/ tool that makes PRE's viable for the middle class divorce client.  As a family law attorney, I am VERY interested in seeing this developed and I am open to collaborating with therapists that wish to understand what attorney's and parents need to fill the parental evaluation GAP.  Please feel free to get in touch with me at leslie@matthewslaw.com to discuss this opportunity.  I also intend to put together a round table discussion on this topic in the beginning of 2012.  I will let you know on this blog and on our website at matthewslaw.com when it is scheduled.

I do not want to discourage people from continuing work as a CFI.  There is certainly still a need for CFI work.  It will be more narrowly defined by the court and will not go over $2,000 in fees but there will be a higher volume available since many former CFI's will no longer be participating.  The cap also makes CFI investigations available to people on tighter budgets.

I believe that the changes in the CFI rules have presented an opportunity to re-evaluate what is really needed in a full custody evaluation and how it can be done at a reasonable cost.  I am hopeful that the present GAP will be filled with something better than what our system has had in the past and something that will serve children and their best interests in these difficult situations.

Please forward this discussion to any licensed therapist you know who might be interested in designing a great evaluation process for divorcing families who need help deciding what parenting plan is best for their children.

Leslie Matthews

One in two marriages end in divorce. Once this was just another statistic, no surprise to anyone. Now, however, if you are contemplating a divorce or actually engaged in one, that statistic has become a personal crisis. A divorce creates an upheaval in your life. Regardless of how amicable you think it might be, a divorce is a potential vehicle for creating untold suffering for you and others in your family, especially children. Just ask a few people who have been through a divorce.


Why are so many divorces emotionally draining and nasty? Because, in many cases, there is an established pattern for the way people behave during a divorce. Even when things begin amicably, during the divorce people tend to develop animosity, emotional turmoil and sometimes, unprincipled behavior in gaining leverage over the other party even when it runs counter to their own core values. People usually get emotionally “hooked” sometime during their divorce process and they loose perspective on the long-term results of their very “human” reactions to what is happening.


Divorce is often viewed as the end of something and people behave accordingly. Some see it as an end game with a winner and a looser. Some desperately want to just “get it over with” and move on to a “new” life.


The truth is that when there is a family involved, Divorce is the beginning of something else. The Divorce process itself builds the foundation for the family’s post divorce relationships. A post divorce family relationship is unavoidable if you care about your children and it can last for many, many years.


I speak from both professional experience as a family law attorney and personal experience with my own divorce in the late 1980’s when I say that a nasty divorce, with lots of unresolved feelings and reactive behaviors can lead to years of suffering for the family long after the divorce process is complete. Regardless of weather you feel the results of the divorce action were in your favor or not.


The Possibility of a Valuable Divorce
In our experience, the divorce process does not have to be this way. There is another possibility. It requires the right team of people and a process to support you in achieving what we call a “Valuable Divorce”. If I had had access to this process in the late 1980’s, I could have possibly avoided years of feeling victimized by my ex-husbands behaviors and, more importantly, addressed the source of my daughter’s emotional pain around the way her father handled our parenting agreement.


In other cases, families do find themselves back in court over and over again because the “Legal Agreement” just does not handle the unresolved way in which the divorced parents relate to each other and their children.


The Valuable Divorce Process provides you with the assistance you need to create a Post Divorce Family that works. It is a combination of legal representation and divorce coaching that works together to support you in building a new foundation for your post divorce family relationships. Both sides do not have to participate for it to work, although it is great when it can happen. The Valuable Divorce Process has a beginning, middle and an end. Step by step, the Process tracks with the necessary actions you must take in your Divorce Proceeding while supporting you to make smart long term decisions and create a new set of agreements and behaviors you need to have the family work in a post divorce setting.


Here at Matthews & Matthews we have created a coordinated step by step process to generate a Valuable Divorce and a Post Divorce Family that works.  For more information about the Valuable Divorce process please call Leslie Matthews at 303-329-3802.

It is hard enough to make decisions around prescription drug therapy for your child, but when it involves divorced parents it can become an area of conflict in co-parenting.  Talk about escalating an already stressful situation.

Default Joint Decision Making
Here is where the problem begins.  During the divorce process, many parents just default to agreeing to joint decision making.  They are often uninformed of the fact that they can carve out specific areas where decision making does not have to have the agreement of both parents.  Therapy, both talk therapy and drug therapy can be one of these areas.  You can have joint decision making in all areas except this one where language in the divorce decree can include a paragraph that allows either parent to initiate therapy.  You can also give decision making for therapy and/or drug therapy to one parent or the other.  In order to make this decision during the divorce process, clients need to find an attorney that looks out into the future with them and goes over the potential breakdowns associated with joint decision making.  In many cases, this is missed.

The Emergency Exception
As a therapist, you are left, in joint decision making situations with trying to get both parents to agree to the medical evaluation.  If they do not, it cannot be done.  There is one exception.  If it is an emergency, there is a provision in the law to allow for medical or therapeutic treatment without both parents agreeing.  The question for you or for the Psychiatrist is, "Is this an emergency".  If you feel that it is an emergency, you can go forward and if you are brought up on charges with your regulatory agency you would have to defend by showing the emergency nature of the problem.  I would imagine (this in not legal advice) that if the child is suicidal one might reasonably say that the situation is an emergency.

Legal Intervention
Barring an emergency the parent who wants the medical eval has one other legal remedy.  It is possible to go back to Court with a request to modify decision making for this one issue.  This requires filing a motion and setting a hearing.  Although in most cases, this can take months to accomplish, if it is about medical treatment, you may be able to get an emergency hearing date within a short period of time.  During this hearing, the parent that wants the medical evaluation would have to show that withholding that treatment was an endangerment to the child's physical well being or their emotional development.  The Court could then choose to change decision making regarding therapy/medical treatment to allow the one parent to proceed with the evaluation.  It is important, in this situation to be able to show that the medical evaluation is necessary for the child's well being and expert testimony would probably be necessary. 

Examine Joint Decision Making during the Divorce Process
It is unfortunate that co-parenting after divorce can become a problem when trying to do what is in the best interests of the child.  My best advise is to counsel clients when they are in the divorce process to look at the current dynamics between them and their spouse and examine at a deeper level what joint decision making could mean in certain situations.  Better to deal with these issues up front during the divorce process rather than have to return to Court later and cause undue stress and resentments between the people trying to co-parent.

It is hard enough to make decisions around prescription drug therapy for your child, but when it involves divorced parents it can become an area of conflict in co-parenting.  Talk about escalating an already stressful situation.

Default Joint Decision Making
Here is where the problem begins.  During the divorce process, many parents just default to agreeing to joint decision making.  They are often uninformed of the fact that they can carve out specific areas where decision making does not have to have the agreement of both parents.  Therapy, both talk therapy and drug therapy can be one of these areas.  You can have joint decision making in all areas except this one where language in the divorce decree can include a paragraph that allows either parent to initiate therapy.  You can also give decision making for therapy and/or drug therapy to one parent or the other.  In order to make this decision during the divorce process, clients need to find an attorney that looks out into the future with them and goes over the potential breakdowns associated with joint decision making.  In many cases, this is missed.

The Emergency Exception
As a therapist, you are left, in joint decision making situations with trying to get both parents to agree to the medical evaluation.  If they do not, it cannot be done.  There is one exception.  If it is an emergency, there is a provision in the law to allow for medical or therapeutic treatment without both parents agreeing.  The question for you or for the Psychiatrist is, "Is this an emergency".  If you feel that it is an emergency, you can go forward and if you are brought up on charges with your regulatory agency you would have to defend by showing the emergency nature of the problem.  I would imagine (this in not legal advice) that if the child is suicidal one might reasonably say that the situation is an emergency.

Legal Intervention
Barring an emergency the parent who wants the medical eval has one other legal remedy.  It is possible to go back to Court with a request to modify decision making for this one issue.  This requires filing a motion and setting a hearing.  Although in most cases, this can take months to accomplish, if it is about medical treatment, you may be able to get an emergency hearing date within a short period of time.  During this hearing, the parent that wants the medical evaluation would have to show that withholding that treatment was an endangerment to the child's physical well being or their emotional development.  The Court could then choose to change decision making regarding therapy/medical treatment to allow the one parent to proceed with the evaluation.  It is important, in this situation to be able to show that the medical evaluation is necessary for the child's well being and expert testimony would probably be necessary. 

Examine Joint Decision Making during the Divorce Process
It is unfortunate that co-parenting after divorce can become a problem when trying to do what is in the best interests of the child.  My best advise is to counsel clients when they are in the divorce process to look at the current dynamics between them and their spouse and examine at a deeper level what joint decision making could mean in certain situations.  Better to deal with these issues up front during the divorce process rather than have to return to Court later and cause undue stress and resentments between the people trying to co-parent.

Where is my Judge?
I was reading a recent Colorado Appeals Court decision today about the limited powers of magistrates in Colorado and it reminded me of the confusion that many clients have about the difference between the role of the judge in their family law case and the role of the magistrate.  Often, people with divorce or child custody issues find themselves in front of a magistrate.  Sometimes the result does not go their way and they wonder if they had been in front of the judge might it have gone differently.

The answer of course is: yes it might have gone differently.  The Judge and the Magistrate are two different people who could interpret the facts differently.  However, the question really is:  What can you do if you feel that the Magistrate has ruled incorrectly? 

What is the Role of the Magistrate in Colorado Family Law Cases
Lets start with the fact that district court magistrates are not judges.  Although magistrates may perform functions which judges also perform, a magistrate is, at all times, subject to the direction and supervision of the chief judge or presiding judge.  So, in essence, the magistrate is delegated certain duties by the presiding judge but the presiding judge remains accountable.

We have a very high family law case volume in the Colorado District Court system.  In most counties, the district court judge has delegated pre-trial hearings to a magistrate in order to reduce the volume of hearings that he/she may have to personally handle.  These magistrates act as the trier of fact and do produce court orders on pre-trial matters.  This could include your Initial Status Conference, Temporary Orders Hearings Emergency Hearings or Contempt of Court hearings that may arise.  The final hearing (trial) in a family law matter is almost always handled by the district court judge.  Sometimes, it is hard to tell who will end up hearing a pre-trial matter in district court. It may be that the one or more of the magistrates are tied up and the Judge ends up hearing your pre-trial motion.  This is especially true of emergency motions since they have to be fit into an already packed docket.  In some counties the judge and the magistrates rotate who will hear emergency motions on a particular day. In these cases you might have a shot at choosing a day that the judge can hear your motion.  But, in the majority of cases, if the judge has a magistrate you will be in front of them on your typical pre-trial motions.

What Happens if You Feel an Error has been Made?
Lets look at the differences between an order by a district court judge and an order by a district court magistrate.

District Court Judges and Motions for Reconsideration
If a district court judge has ruled against you and you feel an error has been made, you have three possible remedies with the district court itself before you have to appeal the case the the Colorado Court of Appeals.  First, under C.R.C.P. 59(a) you have 15 days from the date of the order to file a post-trial motion requesting that the district court judge reconsider his/her judgment.  The judge may also reconsider their judgement sua sponte (on their own) within 15 days of judgement. (rule 59(c))  Lastly, under C.R.C.P. 60(b) a district court judge may consider a motion for relief from final judgment under certain defined circumstances.  If none of these motions are successful, your next step is to file an appeal with the Colorado Court of Appeals; an expensive process that can take a year or more to complete.

District Court Magistrates and the District Court Review
Magistrates are not accorded the powers of review just described above for district court judges.  They may not change their judgement/order once it is entered except to correct clerical errors (C.R.M. 5(a)).  They may not consider a motion for reconsideration or change the substance of an order on their own under rule 59(c).

The remedy you have if you feel that the magistrate has made an error is to ask for a District Court Review.  The district court judge may alter a magistrate's findings of fact if those findings are clearly erroneous. C.R.M. 7(a) (9). 

No New Evidence Considered in a District Court Review
As you might imagine, a district court judge does not want to thoroughly review every court order issued by a magistrate.  This would make the efficiencies of using a magistrate moot.  So, in most cases, just because you don't like the verdict of the magistrate it doesn't mean that the judge is going to overturn it.  In many cases, the judge will support the ruling of the magistrate.  However, if you really feel that the facts of the case clearly do not support the magistrate's ruling, the Motion for District Court Review is your best bet.

It is important to note that when the judge does a District Court Review of the magistrate's ruling they are only able to look at the transcript of the hearing and the evidence that was presented.  No new evidence that may have arisen since the original hearing with the magistrate will be considered.  The Judge is looking at the record of what happened at the pre-trial hearing in question to see if an error occurred in the law or if the findings of fact were clearly erroneous.

If you need more information on the topic of Magistrates and how they are used in Family Law cases in Colorado please give Leslie Matthews at Matthews & Matthews PC a call at 303-329-3802.

Where is my Judge?
I was reading a recent Colorado Appeals Court decision today about the limited powers of magistrates in Colorado and it reminded me of the confusion that many clients have about the difference between the role of the judge in their family law case and the role of the magistrate.  Often, people with divorce or child custody issues find themselves in front of a magistrate.  Sometimes the result does not go their way and they wonder if they had been in front of the judge might it have gone differently.

The answer of course is: yes it might have gone differently.  The Judge and the Magistrate are two different people who could interpret the facts differently.  However, the question really is:  What can you do if you feel that the Magistrate has ruled incorrectly? 

What is the Role of the Magistrate in Colorado Family Law Cases
Lets start with the fact that district court magistrates are not judges.  Although magistrates may perform functions which judges also perform, a magistrate is, at all times, subject to the direction and supervision of the chief judge or presiding judge.  So, in essence, the magistrate is delegated certain duties by the presiding judge but the presiding judge remains accountable.

We have a very high family law case volume in the Colorado District Court system.  In most counties, the district court judge has delegated pre-trial hearings to a magistrate in order to reduce the volume of hearings that he/she may have to personally handle.  These magistrates act as the trier of fact and do produce court orders on pre-trial matters.  This could include your Initial Status Conference, Temporary Orders Hearings Emergency Hearings or Contempt of Court hearings that may arise.  The final hearing (trial) in a family law matter is almost always handled by the district court judge.  Sometimes, it is hard to tell who will end up hearing a pre-trial matter in district court. It may be that the one or more of the magistrates are tied up and the Judge ends up hearing your pre-trial motion.  This is especially true of emergency motions since they have to be fit into an already packed docket.  In some counties the judge and the magistrates rotate who will hear emergency motions on a particular day. In these cases you might have a shot at choosing a day that the judge can hear your motion.  But, in the majority of cases, if the judge has a magistrate you will be in front of them on your typical pre-trial motions.

What Happens if You Feel an Error has been Made?
Lets look at the differences between an order by a district court judge and an order by a district court magistrate.

District Court Judges and Motions for Reconsideration
If a district court judge has ruled against you and you feel an error has been made, you have three possible remedies with the district court itself before you have to appeal the case the the Colorado Court of Appeals.  First, under C.R.C.P. 59(a) you have 15 days from the date of the order to file a post-trial motion requesting that the district court judge reconsider his/her judgment.  The judge may also reconsider their judgement sua sponte (on their own) within 15 days of judgement. (rule 59(c))  Lastly, under C.R.C.P. 60(b) a district court judge may consider a motion for relief from final judgment under certain defined circumstances.  If none of these motions are successful, your next step is to file an appeal with the Colorado Court of Appeals; an expensive process that can take a year or more to complete.

District Court Magistrates and the District Court Review
Magistrates are not accorded the powers of review just described above for district court judges.  They may not change their judgement/order once it is entered except to correct clerical errors (C.R.M. 5(a)).  They may not consider a motion for reconsideration or change the substance of an order on their own under rule 59(c).

The remedy you have if you feel that the magistrate has made an error is to ask for a District Court Review.  The district court judge may alter a magistrate's findings of fact if those findings are clearly erroneous. C.R.M. 7(a) (9). 

No New Evidence Considered in a District Court Review
As you might imagine, a district court judge does not want to thoroughly review every court order issued by a magistrate.  This would make the efficiencies of using a magistrate moot.  So, in most cases, just because you don't like the verdict of the magistrate it doesn't mean that the judge is going to overturn it.  In many cases, the judge will support the ruling of the magistrate.  However, if you really feel that the facts of the case clearly do not support the magistrate's ruling, the Motion for District Court Review is your best bet.

It is important to note that when the judge does a District Court Review of the magistrate's ruling they are only able to look at the transcript of the hearing and the evidence that was presented.  No new evidence that may have arisen since the original hearing with the magistrate will be considered.  The Judge is looking at the record of what happened at the pre-trial hearing in question to see if an error occurred in the law or if the findings of fact were clearly erroneous.

If you need more information on the topic of Magistrates and how they are used in Family Law cases in Colorado please give Leslie Matthews at Matthews & Matthews PC a call at 303-329-3802.

Matthews & Matthews expands services to include Family Law Mediation
Matthews & Matthews PC has expanded their family law services to include Family Law Mediation.  Mediation services are now offered by Leslie Matthews, the Firm's Managing Partner.

Information on Leslie Matthews J.D.
Ms. Matthews began her professional career as an Trauma Intensive Care Unit RN and has been licensed to practice law since 1986 .  Leslie has practiced law in both state and federal courts in Texas as well as Colorado and she is Certified as a Mediator through the Colorado Bar Association. Ms. Matthews began her practice in environmental and toxic tort litigation in the late 1980s before moving to Colorado. She now practices family law exclusively. She has a strong belief in providing a high level of personal service to her clients and a commitment to looking for the best long term results for her clients and their families.  Leslie is an official consultant to the Colorado Marriage and Family Therapists Organization and provides the Organization with training in family law.  She also works with the Organization on collaborative approaches between attorneys and therapists to support families through the divorce process. 

Preparation for Mediation is a Key to Success
Ms. Matthews brings her years of experience in family law and litigation as well has her wholisic approach to resolving conflicts.  Ms Matthews advises that the right level of preparation is key to producing a good long term result in mediation.  We ask for copies of the financial disclosures, all reports and have separate pre-mediation phone calls with the husband and the wife  before we mediate states Ms. Matthews.  This preparation makes all the difference in having a mediation that works.  Ms Matthews also drafts a memorandum of understanding for mediation clients that contains everything needed to submit to the District Court to settle the case.

Mediation Philosophy
After working with divorce clients for many years, it is clear to me that resolving disputes in mediation can be the very best route in a number of situations states Ms. Matthews.  The idea of resolving your conflict and coming into alignment together, especially on parenting issues can form the best foundation for operating together as a post divorce family.  Mediation is not always the best route, especially in cases where there is an extreme imbalance of power between the husband and wife, but in many cases it can be the very best solution. 

If you have questions about whether mediation is a good fit for your divorce or family law situation, please feel free to call Leslie Matthews at 303-329-3802 and she will be happy to answer your questions.

 

Matthews & Matthews expands services to include Family Law Mediation
Matthews & Matthews PC has expanded their family law services to include Family Law Mediation.  Mediation services are now offered by Leslie Matthews, the Firm's Managing Partner.

Information on Leslie Matthews J.D.
Ms. Matthews began her professional career as an Trauma Intensive Care Unit RN and has been licensed to practice law since 1986 .  Leslie has practiced law in both state and federal courts in Texas as well as Colorado and she is Certified as a Mediator through the Colorado Bar Association. Ms. Matthews began her practice in environmental and toxic tort litigation in the late 1980s before moving to Colorado. She now practices family law exclusively. She has a strong belief in providing a high level of personal service to her clients and a commitment to looking for the best long term results for her clients and their families.  Leslie is an official consultant to the Colorado Marriage and Family Therapists Organization and provides the Organization with training in family law.  She also works with the Organization on collaborative approaches between attorneys and therapists to support families through the divorce process. 

Preparation for Mediation is a Key to Success
Ms. Matthews brings her years of experience in family law and litigation as well has her wholisic approach to resolving conflicts.  Ms Matthews advises that the right level of preparation is key to producing a good long term result in mediation.  We ask for copies of the financial disclosures, all reports and have separate pre-mediation phone calls with the husband and the wife  before we mediate states Ms. Matthews.  This preparation makes all the difference in having a mediation that works.  Ms Matthews also drafts a memorandum of understanding for mediation clients that contains everything needed to submit to the District Court to settle the case.

Mediation Philosophy
After working with divorce clients for many years, it is clear to me that resolving disputes in mediation can be the very best route in a number of situations states Ms. Matthews.  The idea of resolving your conflict and coming into alignment together, especially on parenting issues can form the best foundation for operating together as a post divorce family.  Mediation is not always the best route, especially in cases where there is an extreme imbalance of power between the husband and wife, but in many cases it can be the very best solution. 

If you have questions about whether mediation is a good fit for your divorce or family law situation, please feel free to call Leslie Matthews at 303-329-3802 and she will be happy to answer your questions.

 

Obstacles to Good Preparation
For most people, just making the decision to divorce can be very difficult and emotionally exhausting.  Thinking about taking specific actions to prepare for the divorce process can seem overwhelming.  However, in many cases, preparation can be the pivotal factor in a divorce process that produces a fair, just and hopefully expeditious result.

Collecting the Financial Documents
All divorces require full financial disclosure.  However, in many cases, both spouses do not have equal knowledge and understanding of the family finances.  Once the divorce has been filed, some people find that they no longer have access to the financial information and they are left in a vulnerable position if the other side is not forthcoming regarding all of the finances.  Any money that was earned by either spouse during the marriage and the increase in value of all investments are marital property.  Both parties have the right to all of the financial information.  If you do not handle the finances or you may be unaware of all of your family financial information, it is a good idea to make copies of all financial documentation for the past three years before the divorce process begins.  You should know about all bank accounts, investment accounts, credit card debt and any other assets and liabilities.  It does not matter who's name is on the account, it is still marital property if it was acquired or increased in value during the marriage and you have an equal right to these documents.

If there is a vital piece of financial information that is not disclosed, you do have five years from the date of the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage to re-open the case.  However, you might not find out about it at all or even if you do, and you re-open the case, there will be significant legal fees involved.  So, it is best to have all the financial information in hand before you file.  Even though you might find it uncomfortable to venture into these documents and make copies, it is your right to do so and it might be very important for your financial protection.

Provide for at least Three Months of Financial Independence
Here is a scenario I have seen too many times:  A stay at home wife and mother wants to file for divorce after 20 years of marriage.  The couple has joint checking accounts, savings accounts, investment accounts and joint credit cards.  The wife tells me that her husband would never cut her off financially.  I give her my advice but she is confident that nothing will happen.  She files for divorce and within two to three days, all accounts and credit cards have been cut off and she has no access to marital funds.  The wife is shocked.  Her Husband has never done anything like this before.  Sometimes people behave in totally uncharacteristic ways when they are presented with a divorce.  You just never know.

The funds still belong to her, but she can't get to them until we get a court order.  Even though this is a financial emergency, the Courts in Colorado will not set a date right away to deal with a purely financial problem.  In most cases, you will have to wait for a Temporary Orders Hearing.  This can take up to three months to set. 

To be on the safe side, it is important to know what amount of money you are going to need for a three month period.  This includes money to pay the mortgage, car payment, utilities, food etc...  You should assume that your spouse could stop paying for anything.  You should also include the money you would need to retain an attorney and possibly other experts as well including counselling for yourself or your children.  Take the time to do a budget and consider contingencies.  Then, right before you file, remove 3 months of expenses from your accounts and set up an account with only your name on it.   Also open a credit card with only your name on it if possible.  I would let my spouse know that I did this once the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage is filed.  I would have to know all the circumstance to say if and how this should be done.  You should discuss this fully with your attorney.  However, generally, I would send an email that tells my spouse the amount I have removed and that it is still marital funds and will only be used for day to day expenses but that you needed to feel secure about funds for the time being because you have no current earning capacity.

Counselling and Keeping a Journal
Sometimes, it is clear, even before the divorce is filed that there are and will be issues around parenting time and decision making for the children.  If there is trauma in the household, physical or emotional abuse or just overt confrontation on a regular basis that the children are exposed to, consider counselling for your self or more importantly for the children.  If you get the children into counselling before you file for divorce you have a number of advantages.  First, while you are married and have no Court Orders, a counsellor or therapist can begin assessment and treatment with the permission of only one parent.  If, later on, you have Court Orders that include joint decision making, the therapist will require the permission of both parents.  Also, if there are parenting issues going on for the children, you will have someone who is an objective expert working with the children and able, after a period of time, to give an expert opinion on what is going on and what they see is in the best interest of the children.

Secondly, if there are problems with parenting, you should be making a journal of any relevant interaction.  You can do this prior to filing for divorce and have a record leading up to the point when you might ask the other spouse to leave the home environment.  Again, the right thing to do here depends on all the circumstances and you should talk about the best preparation steps with your attorney before you file.

In conclusion, my best advice is to meet with a family law attorney before you file for divorce and discuss what is in your best interest to do in preparation for divorce.  Your attorney might not have this conversation with you automatically.  You need to bring up preparation and ask for a full assessment of your situation.

If you have further questions in relation to preparation for divorce please feel free to give me a call at Matthews & Matthews PC.  Our number is 303-329-3802/

Obstacles to Good Preparation
For most people, just making the decision to divorce can be very difficult and emotionally exhausting.  Thinking about taking specific actions to prepare for the divorce process can seem overwhelming.  However, in many cases, preparation can be the pivotal factor in a divorce process that produces a fair, just and hopefully expeditious result.

Collecting the Financial Documents
All divorces require full financial disclosure.  However, in many cases, both spouses do not have equal knowledge and understanding of the family finances.  Once the divorce has been filed, some people find that they no longer have access to the financial information and they are left in a vulnerable position if the other side is not forthcoming regarding all of the finances.  Any money that was earned by either spouse during the marriage and the increase in value of all investments are marital property.  Both parties have the right to all of the financial information.  If you do not handle the finances or you may be unaware of all of your family financial information, it is a good idea to make copies of all financial documentation for the past three years before the divorce process begins.  You should know about all bank accounts, investment accounts, credit card debt and any other assets and liabilities.  It does not matter who's name is on the account, it is still marital property if it was acquired or increased in value during the marriage and you have an equal right to these documents.

If there is a vital piece of financial information that is not disclosed, you do have five years from the date of the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage to re-open the case.  However, you might not find out about it at all or even if you do, and you re-open the case, there will be significant legal fees involved.  So, it is best to have all the financial information in hand before you file.  Even though you might find it uncomfortable to venture into these documents and make copies, it is your right to do so and it might be very important for your financial protection.

Provide for at least Three Months of Financial Independence
Here is a scenario I have seen too many times:  A stay at home wife and mother wants to file for divorce after 20 years of marriage.  The couple has joint checking accounts, savings accounts, investment accounts and joint credit cards.  The wife tells me that her husband would never cut her off financially.  I give her my advice but she is confident that nothing will happen.  She files for divorce and within two to three days, all accounts and credit cards have been cut off and she has no access to marital funds.  The wife is shocked.  Her Husband has never done anything like this before.  Sometimes people behave in totally uncharacteristic ways when they are presented with a divorce.  You just never know.

The funds still belong to her, but she can't get to them until we get a court order.  Even though this is a financial emergency, the Courts in Colorado will not set a date right away to deal with a purely financial problem.  In most cases, you will have to wait for a Temporary Orders Hearing.  This can take up to three months to set. 

To be on the safe side, it is important to know what amount of money you are going to need for a three month period.  This includes money to pay the mortgage, car payment, utilities, food etc...  You should assume that your spouse could stop paying for anything.  You should also include the money you would need to retain an attorney and possibly other experts as well including counselling for yourself or your children.  Take the time to do a budget and consider contingencies.  Then, right before you file, remove 3 months of expenses from your accounts and set up an account with only your name on it.   Also open a credit card with only your name on it if possible.  I would let my spouse know that I did this once the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage is filed.  I would have to know all the circumstance to say if and how this should be done.  You should discuss this fully with your attorney.  However, generally, I would send an email that tells my spouse the amount I have removed and that it is still marital funds and will only be used for day to day expenses but that you needed to feel secure about funds for the time being because you have no current earning capacity.

Counselling and Keeping a Journal
Sometimes, it is clear, even before the divorce is filed that there are and will be issues around parenting time and decision making for the children.  If there is trauma in the household, physical or emotional abuse or just overt confrontation on a regular basis that the children are exposed to, consider counselling for your self or more importantly for the children.  If you get the children into counselling before you file for divorce you have a number of advantages.  First, while you are married and have no Court Orders, a counsellor or therapist can begin assessment and treatment with the permission of only one parent.  If, later on, you have Court Orders that include joint decision making, the therapist will require the permission of both parents.  Also, if there are parenting issues going on for the children, you will have someone who is an objective expert working with the children and able, after a period of time, to give an expert opinion on what is going on and what they see is in the best interest of the children.

Secondly, if there are problems with parenting, you should be making a journal of any relevant interaction.  You can do this prior to filing for divorce and have a record leading up to the point when you might ask the other spouse to leave the home environment.  Again, the right thing to do here depends on all the circumstances and you should talk about the best preparation steps with your attorney before you file.

In conclusion, my best advice is to meet with a family law attorney before you file for divorce and discuss what is in your best interest to do in preparation for divorce.  Your attorney might not have this conversation with you automatically.  You need to bring up preparation and ask for a full assessment of your situation.

If you have further questions in relation to preparation for divorce please feel free to give me a call at Matthews & Matthews PC.  Our number is 303-329-3802/